I read people for a living. I still got this one wrong.

I've spent more than 14 years reading people. Every week I sit across from candidates and clients and work out who's the real deal, who's saying the right things, and who's actually going to follow through. I've always been proud of that, which is why this one stung.

A while back I went into business with someone. The details aren't the point. What matters is what happened, what I missed, and what I'd do differently.

It started really well

I liked them straight away. Great energy, relevant experience, and a network that fit exactly what I wanted to build. The plan was simple: they'd open doors, we'd sell together, and they'd share properly in what we built. I didn't offer a token deal. I offered a generous one, because I believed in it and wanted them invested.

Then the “I'm going to” started. I'm going to reach out this week. I'm going to set that meeting up. There was always a plan and rarely an outcome. So I set a clear target of three meetings a week. For context, I aim for five to seven a week in my own recruitment business. Three wasn't a stretch, and it was never met. Before long I was doing something I never expected to do with a business partner: managing them.

The signs I explained away

Looking back, the signs were everywhere, and at the time I had a reason for every one. They wouldn't use the business email I'd set up, so I never really knew who they were talking to. The meetings that did happen didn't convert. More than once I was sitting in reception, ready for a meeting I'd booked, when a text came through saying they weren't coming because they were working on something big for us. It never materialised.

The biggest sign was how hard I had to push. I made sure we spoke every single day just to keep things moving. If you have to push a partner that hard, you don't have a partner.

Then it went quiet. Weeks of silence, calls and emails unanswered, until I had to escalate formally just to get a reply. When it came, it was a short note saying they were stepping away. People step away for all sorts of reasons, and that part I could accept. The weeks of nothing before it, I couldn't. And as I started letting people know they were no longer involved, I found out I wasn't the first.

Why I didn't see it sooner

I've thought a lot about this. I liked them, and when you like someone you give them more benefit of the doubt than you'd give a stranger. I was invested, and admitting it wasn't working meant admitting I'd backed the wrong person. And I trusted my own judgement too much. Being good at reading people can make you less likely to question yourself.

What I'd do differently

If you're thinking about going into business with someone, set expectations in writing from day one: specific activity, and what happens if it isn't met. Build in visibility from the start, with shared systems, shared email and a shared pipeline, and pay attention if someone pushes back on it. Judge what's been done, not what's been promised, because “I'm going to” costs nothing. Talk to people who've worked with them before, not just the ones they point you to. And if you find yourself managing a partner, it's already over. Have the hard conversation early.

I built it anyway

When it fell over, I didn't walk away from the idea. I rebuilt it on my own, and what exists now is stronger, clearer and more mine than the original ever was. I still back my judgement. I've just learned to back it up with evidence, not energy.

If you've been through something like this, it doesn't mean your instincts are broken. Sometimes the lesson just costs more than you'd like.